Edward Takes the Ice Cream
by Mint Pizza Queen
Summary: A short followup of the last set of drabbles on Ed and Roy's misadventures. Now they are not alone. They have Ling. RoyEdLing [COMPLETED]
1. First

**A/N: **That's right, folks. _Edward Takes the Cake _is back in black…and white. This is a continuation of the previous series and this time…I bring to you not only more RoyEd drabbles, but RoyEd_Ling _drabbles. Yes, I have grown quite attached to that little weird foreigner. This series is just like the last. Page number and all that stuff. Only more crack.

Let's start slow and began with RoyEd and move onward slowly to bringing that lovable Xingian in, shall we? Same book, page seventy-one (71).

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**Disclaimer: **I don't own FMA or Garfield.**

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First  
**Edward watched from his hiding spot as Roy walked down the sidewalk with the female that he had went out with that night. Disgusted, irked, and very jealous, Edward scrunched up his nose when he saw the woman grab Roy's arm and swing around in front of the man. She leaned forward on one foot and held the other one up in a dainty fashion, as if leaning in for a kiss. 

"Oh, Mustang," Edward shuddered from her voice, "How about we start a long lasting relationship? Hm?" She batted her eyelashes for good measure.

Edward resisted all temptation to transmute her into a bowl of pudding.

Roy smiled back. "I don't know…"

"Please? Can we?" She put on a mock-pout.

Edward's resistance was slowly dwindling.

"Well, I'm sorry, I'm already hopelessly in love with somebody else."

Edward suddenly perked up at that and could actually see the woman's entire world crash down around her. He could also sense an angry aura building around her.

"Who?"

Roy smiled again and looked over to Edward and pointed to the blonde. "Him."

That was his cue. He skipped out across the road and leaped into Roy's arms, allowing himself to be smothered in several kisses.

The woman glared with utter rage before stomping away.

Roy gently placed Edward back onto his feet before taking his hand and leading him back to the house.

"Hey, what you said, did you only say that because you didn't want to be stuck with her or because you saw me?" Ed asked curiously.

Roy smirked. "Would you kill me if I said both because of those reasons and because I do love you?"

Ed raised an eyebrow. "I don't sense your murder any time soon, but I am detecting something else…"

"What?"

"You sleeping on the couch for a month."

**-Fin-**


	2. Second

**A/N: **Here's another. Ling will be along in this series in a few drabbles. No worries! Ling is the love. n.n This is a solo round with just Edward, because Ed is love too. :3 This one is on page eighty-two (82).

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****Disclaimer: **I don't own FMA or Garfield.**

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**Second**

It was early. But not too early. The blonde opened his eyes blearily and noticed that his lover had already left for work. The curtains were still closed, which Edward found to be a good thing. Being blinded by the sun after just waking up usually put him in a _really _bad mood.

He sat up and stretched with a yawn. He felt well rested.

Today will be a good day! Today will be the best day ever! After a great night of sleep and waking up at a decent hour with no blinding light, nothing could go wrong!

Edward cheerfully threw the blankets off and leaned to throw his legs off the bed when suddenly…

The mattress slid off the frame, sending him flying down and the mattress flipped onto him

Okay, why didn't someone warn him that today was Monday?

"I'll get you for this, Monday. One of these days." The bed groaned as it sank even further onto Edward. "Just not right now."

**-Fin-**


	3. Third

**A/N: **Well, since Edward had his own little drabble all to himself, let's have Roy have his own. Cause as I said with the other drabble, Roy is the love too. :3 Page seventy (70).

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****Disclaimer: **I don't own FMA or Garfield.

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**Third**

Roy stared at himself in the mirror located in a hallway at Headquarters. Was it just him, or was he getting a spare roll around his stomach?

He bent backwards slightly, and sure enough, his stomach had seemingly grown in size.

He frowned at himself. "Well, Roy Mustang, you're getting a little pudgy there." He poked his belly.

"Maybe you'd look a little slimmer if you suck in your gut." He sucked in some air and held in his stomach. Just as he did so, one of the secretaries turned around the corner and saw him and started snorting with laughter. Loud, obnoxious, snorty laughter.

But that wasn't the icing on the cake, she also had to yell to the world what he was doing.

"Roy Mustang! You getting a jelly roll there that Edward doesn't like? My ,my! It looks like it's diet time!" She walked away laughing.

Roy wrote a mental note to make sure she got a huge cut to her pay and that she was demoted to toilet scrubber. And also to go on a diet starting tomorrow.

**-Fin-**


	4. Fourth

**A/N: **Roy and Ed together in this one. :P Page forty-nine (49).

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**Disclaimer: **I don't own FMA or Garfield.

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**Fourth**

"Ed, I think that it's time that I went on a diet."

Ed looked up from his spot on the bed and raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"See? I've got a pudgy belly." Roy poked it just to emphasize his point. Suddenly, an idea clicked and he whirled towards Edward with a grin. "Why don't we diet together?"

"ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT?"

Roy ignored him. "How does that old proverb go again?"

Edward, still fuming, grabbed Roy by the throat and started to strangle him whilst answering his question on the proverb. "It's _'Misery loves company'_, and I'M NOT FAT YOU BASTARD!"

The currently being strangled man grabbed Ed's wrists with bulging eyes and had a blue hue appear on his face. "I'm--sor--ry!"

Ed didn't release Roy from his death grip until Roy agreed that Edward was not, indeed fat, and even if he was, that more Edward-ass was better than none.

**-Fin-**


	5. Fifth

**A/N:** Well, another RoyEd ones folks. :) This one on page eighty-six (86).

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**Disclaimer:** I don't own FMA or Garfield.

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**Fifth**

Roy peered into the living room. No one in sight. His favorite chair was empty. _'Good,' _he thought to himself as he walked back into the kitchen to grab himself a drink.

After grabbing his desired drink, he went back to the doorway and peered around the living room once more.

He looked to the left.

'_No one.'_

He looked to the right.

'_No one.'_

He looked to the left again.

'_No one.'_

Stealthily, he crept across the room. He was silently celebrating his nearly-to-my-comfy-chair victory when suddenly, a blond blur came out of nowhere and plopped down in his chair.

His fingers twitched.

Mentally cursing, Roy turned around and walked back to the kitchen. "I hate him so very much right now."

He could hear a 'chu' from Edward behind him.

'_Sneaky little bastard…' _

"WHO DID YOU THINK WAS SO SMALL THAT YOU COULD'VE MISTAKENED HIM FOR A PIECE OF LINT?"

Roy blinked. _'Well, never saw that one coming.'_

**-Fin-**


	6. Sixth

**A/N**: Here's another one! Well, in a wee bit Ling will be making an appearance. This next drabble is inspired by the comic on page thirty-three (33).

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**Disclaimer: **I don't own FMA or Garfield.**

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****Sixth**

Roy walked into the kitchen holding up one of his favorite records, observing it in the light. He frowned when he saw Edward sitting at the table.

"Edward, what happened to my favorite record?"

"I scratched it." He replied bluntly.

Roy looked over to the counter and saw that the entire cake for their dessert that week was already devoured. "What happened to the cake!"

"I ate it." Once again, very blunt.

"Ed! Why is it that you scratch and eat and destroy everything in sight?" Roy waved his arms frantically with anger written all over his features.

Edward rose from the table in a rush and waved his arms around too. "I can't help it! It's just me! It's the way I am!"

They both raised their heads to yell at the ceiling.

"Teens!"

"Bastards!"

Roy took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. "You know, Edward, I'm sorry. If you didn't act the way you were, you wouldn't be you. I love you for the way you are." He hugged the boy with a soft smile on his face.

Ed hugged back silently unnerved by the sudden mood change. "That's okay."

There was a long pause, and Ed could feel Roy suddenly tense. "Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"What happened to my car?"

"Don't ask."

**-Fin-**


	7. Seventh

**A/N:** Next one. Let's bring on Ling! n.n Page 73.

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Disclaimer:** I don't own FMA or Garfield.**

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Seventh**

"Boy! Edward will be most surprised to see me here!" The man chortled to himself as he ran up the stairs and turned around the corner, heading right for Mustang's office. "Colonel Mustang will be too! Neither of them would have expected me to come back so soon!" He stopped outside the door with a pause, then cackled quietly as he slowly opened the door.

Sitting at the table was Colonel Mustang in all his glory, with his back to the door but sitting at the far end.

Roy heard the door and looked up. "Oh, hello. Surprise seeing you here."

Ling waved. "Yo'! Hey, where's Edward?"

Roy pointed to the end of the table close to Ling and wavered it as if pointing under the table. "He's under there. Been hiding from his mechanic all day. I think he fell asleep from staying under there for so long."

Ling grinned even harder. "Really, well, I'll just have to wake him up."

The man strutted towards the end of the table, kneeled and saw Edward curled up in a little ball, sleeping blissfully.

_He looks so innocent, so happy, so relaxed…_

Can't have that now can we?

"HELLO EDWARD!" Ling sang loudly in the blonde's ear.

Edward screeched like a banshee and went right through the table. Literally. Paperwork flew all around as Ed's head flew through the wood and sent splinters of wood everywhere.

Roy merely blinked.

Ling walked over and smiled at Edward.

Edward glared at Ling. "Bastard Xingian," he muttered, "you had me thinking it was Winry."

"THERE YOU ARE!"

Three heads (well, two) flashed to the doorway where the wrench wielding girl stood.

"Uh oh."

**-Fin-**


	8. Eighth

**A/N:** Now that Ling is in the picture, more crack. :P This one is page sixty-seven (67).

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**Disclaimer:** I don't own FMA or Garfield.

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**Eighth**

"Dinner's almost ready," Ed said as he fixed the tray in front of Ling and handed one to Roy. "I'll bring it in in a second…" With that, he turned and walked back into the kitchen.

Roy waited until the blond was out of earshot before leaning in towards Ling and murmured in his ear. "People here have a custom that I think you should know about. People equate their love with serving food at home. When they feed you their own home cooked meal, they are saying "I love you"."

Ling blinked at that.

Edward walked in with a plate of noodles and meat sauce and placed it on Ling's tray. "Here you go, eat."

Ling shot up from the couch, stepped around the tray and hugged Edward. "I love you too!"

Roy snickered as Ed's eyes widened in immense proportions.

"BASTARD! WHAT DID YOU TELL HIM NOW?"

"Absolutely nothing." Roy grinned as Ed tried to break away from the Xingian who had a death hug going now.

**-Fin-**


	9. Ninth

**A/N:** Here's the next one. This one has no Roy in it (NO! ROY! NOOO!). But, it has Ling. n.n Page sixty-five (65).

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**Disclaimer:** I don't own FMA or Garfield.

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**Ninth**

Ling sniffed the air hungrily. _'Oooh! Edo must be cooking again!' _

With that, he jumped off the couch and ran into the kitchen to find that certain blond gone, but a pan of pizza sitting on the table.

Ling drooled. His FOOD! mode kicked in, and he slid across the room to the pan.

"Mm! This non-Xingian dish looks delicious! Look at the cheese! The onions! The other onions! What were they called again? Oh yes, peppers! And the pepperoni! And sausage! And the mushrooms! Look at the crust!"

Ling delved into the food and began to eat it, still mouthing off things like 'Oh the sauce! The sauce!' when suddenly he heard someone in the next room approaching.

He quickly back away from the half eaten pizza and stood in the doorway, putting on an innocent face.

Edward walked in and his eyes went right to the pizza. He stared for a moment before looking directly at Ling.

Ling grinned innocently.

"LIIIIIING!"

"Edward! You are a psychic! How did you know it was me?"

"You have sauce on your face, dip-shit." Ed glared.

Ling still smiled. "My compliments to the chef."

**-Fin-**


	10. Tenth

**A/N:** Here's another one, with Roy this time. n.n Page eighty-three (83).

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**Disclaimer:** I don't own FMA or Garfield.**

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Tenth**

Ling was more than content. He was overjoyed. '_Olives! Yummy! Olives with pimientos! Yumyumyum!'_

He stuck a hand into the jar and fished out another olive and popped it into his mouth. He walked into the dining room and stopped at the end of the table. Sitting on the table, all alone, was a hamburger. No owner, no friend, no ketchup...all alone.

He looked to his left, to his right, and to his back. No one and nothing.

He looked back down to the burger.

He grinned.

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Roy walked into the dining room and seated himself at the end of the table where his lunch sat on the plate. He picked up the burger and was about to bite into it when he froze.

His burger was looking at him with orange eyes rimmed with green.

_What the hell..._

"Okay, who put eyeballs on my hamburger?"

He looked up and just noticed that there was another person in the room.

Ling was fishing in his olive jar happily when he looked up and grinned. "Hello! Enjoy your lunch!"

Roy plucked the olives off his hamburger and chucked them at the Xingian.

**-Fin-**


	11. Eleventh

**A/N: **Here's the next drabble. Only five more to go. This one has all three of our favorite guys together. n.n On page ninety-five (95).

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**Disclaimer:** I don't own FMA or Garfield.**

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Eleventh **

Roy was a fair man, really he was. He let people do what they want most of the time. He let Ed run along the back of the couch in his boots that one time, and he let Ling put his shoes onto the coffee table that had been recently polished to perfection.

Oh! Let's not forget he allowed the two of them have a junk-food feast in which everything they ate that night was made of sugar and sugar alone. Of course, he never allowed _that _to happen again, but he was fair enough to allow them to have one at least once in their lifetime, right?

Ah, yes. Roy Mustang was a fair man. Except when it came to one thing...

_Cuddling._

Roy liked to cuddle, sure, it was just he liked to cuddle with one person and that one person was currently being held captive by a certain Xingian...

"LING!"

The man looked up from clinging to Edward, who looked mightily disgruntled. "Oh, Roy. Hello!"

Roy grabbed Edward from the man and glared angrily. "MINE!"

Ling blinked in confusion.

Roy cleared up the confusion right away.

"Edward is a one-bastard cuddler. He only cuddles with **_me._**"

And to prove his point, he dragged Ed to the bedroom and locked the door.

**-Fin-**


	12. Twelfth

**A/N:** Well, it is almost finished. Three more to go after this one. Well, this one is from page fifty-one (51).

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**Disclaimer:** I don't own FMA or Garfield.

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**Twelfth**

"Oh boy! Wool carpet!" Ed instantly slid on a pair of socks and began to shuffle his feet along the new padding.

_Scuff. Scuff. Scuff. Scuff. Scuff._

_SNAP! _

Poor unsuspecting Roy didn't stand a chance against the power of Static Electricity!

"I love static electricity," Edward said as he continued his journey of shuffling his feet to find his next unsuspecting victim.

_Scuff. Scuff. Scuff. Scuff._

_POP!_

Ling jumped about a foot in the air from the sudden jolt of the sting.

Ed cackled with evil glee.

Suddenly he froze when he reached the doorway to the kitchen. There, sitting innocently on the table, was a cake.

_Cake! _

Scuff. Scuff. Scuff. Scuff. Scuff.

_**POW!**_

Ed glared at both Ling and Roy who snickered with glee as chocolate frosting dripped off his face.

"I hate static electricity."

**-Fin-**


	13. Thirteenth

**A/N:** Page eighty-nine (89).

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**Disclaimer:** I don't own FMA or Garfield.

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**Thirteenth**

"Okay, we got everything, right?"

Ed rolled his eyes as he buckled the seat belt. "Roy, we're only going to the store. It's not like we're going on a trip around the world."

Roy resisted swatting at him. "I know that! I just want to be sure that we got the money and checkbooks and all that! I hate having to run back because I forgot something. It's embarrassing."

The blond rolled his eyes and leaned against the armrest on the door. "It's embarrassing having to be seen shopping with you."

"What was that?"

"Nothing." Ed grinned.

Suddenly, there was a thump from the trunk. Roy looked to Edward with confusion evident on his face. "What was that?"

Ed's grin deepened. "What was what?"

Roy then noticed that they were one person short. He jumped out of the car, ran around to the trunk and threw it open.

"Ling! Get out of there!"

Ling's head popped out and he looked to Ed and gave a thumbs up. "The light **does **turn off when the trunk lid closes! Ingenious!"

Roy slammed the lid on Ling's head and marched back to the driver side and climbed in. He glared at Ed. "It was your idea, wasn't it?"

Ed merely grinned.

**-Fin-**


	14. Fourteenth

**A/N:** One more after this one. Boy, this went by quick. oO' Page ninety-two (92).

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**Disclaimer:** I don't own FMA or Garfield.**

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Fourteenth**

Ling was bored, Edward noticed. A bored Ling could only lead to trouble, which lead to more trouble, which usually lead to someone's demise.

Edward watched in the mirror as Ling stared out the open window with glazed eyes. Suddenly, those dull eyes came to life and widened with an evil glint to them. Ed didn't dare move, didn't dare breath...

Suddenly, Ling reached out and nabbed something from seemingly nowhere. Whatever it was, he placed it on his head and leaned forward so he was between Roy and Ed, grinning wickedly at Roy.

Roy risked a glance at the Xingian.

"Please tell me that's not a traffic cop's hat."

Ling merely grinned. "Okay, it's not a traffic cop's hat."

Ed whooped with laughter.

**-Fin-**


	15. Fifteenth

**A/N:** Okay, last one folks. Whoop-whoop. Oo' Page seventy-four (74). This was fun while it lasted. XD I need to go back to updating Hysterics Boulevard. n.n'

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**Disclaimer:** I don't own FMA or Garfield.

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**Fifteenth**

Roy, Ling, and Ed were all seated in the living room comfortably. Roy was seated in an overstuffed chair with a newspaper, Ling was sitting in front of the couch on the floor drinking some tea, and Edward was laying on the couch reading a book.

Ling spoke. "Do you believe in reincarnation?"

Roy looked past his newspaper. "I've never really thought about it. Why?"

Ling smiled. "Well, I was thinking...if there was such thing as reincarnation, what would you come back as?"

The Colonel shrugged. "I don't know, a Fuhrer or something of high-rank and importance."

Ed snorted. "Good looks not included."

Roy scowled at Ed, who merely stuck his tongue out at him childishly.

"I was thinking I'd come back as an animal, probably a panther or something exotic." Ling had a dreamy look cast over his face.

"What about you, Ed?" Roy looked over at him.

"Me?" Edward sat up.

"Yeah, what would you come back as?"

Ed grinned wickedly. "Well, that's a silly question..."

Roy and Ling leaned in with anticipation.

Ed raised his head proudly. "I'd come back as a woman."

Both men fell over, stunned, with Ed pointing and laughing at them.

**-Fin-**


End file.
